The insanity of food-a-palooza is finally over for the year. I made it through Christmas without going completely overboard...anything I ate, I sweated off in the kitchen. I basically spent most of Christmas Eve Day cooking my ass off for a 6 p.m. dinner. On Christmas Day, I spent time making Creme Brulees, then cleaning up the mess in the living room in preparation for a 4 p.m. dinner. Don't get me wrong, there were cookies and candies and wine and champagne, but nothing was overdone. So not feeling too bad about the caloric intake of the holiday.
Christmas Eve day I signed up for my next 5K which is 10 weeks away. I begin my training today. According to the lap-band rules, I should expect to be losing 1-2 lbs a week, so if I stay on track for training and eat as I am supposed to, and drink drink drink (water & low-cal liquids-I'm actually abstaining from drinking alcohol for my training), I should be down 15-20 lbs by the time the 5K rolls around. This will be a GREAT relief to me. I feel like I totally FLUSHED all my success down the toilet with this weight gain. It's really sad and disheartening. But, as I told someone before who commented on my weight gain (I WAS PISSED AS HELL, but reigned it in and said:) "Well, I know what to do and I have all the tools I need to help me get the weight off again, I'm confident in my abilities".
And I need to be confident in them because I am the one who did it before-of my own volition and under my own direction I became a runner! I trained myself for my first 10K. That's significant and it shows a great deal of dedication to my health and my goals. I'm WITH me, not abandoning me.
So I begin today with renewed confidence and drive to achieve this goal. I feel good about it not being the "New Year's Resolution bandwagon" sort of thing. It's just a re-dedication to the life-long goal I made to be healthy and happy and have a life that I want! My body hurts from inactivity, my clothing doesn't fit as well as it did- in fact, some shirts I can't get into because my arms are too big... or my bust is too big, and I have been PLAGUED with depression and aimless longing for something... It's been there all along, I had just quit going to that place. The meditation that is exercise & running. I ALWAYS feel good after a run. I ALWAYS feel that my heart is more peaceful, that my anxiety is not an unmanageable monster running my life. This is the right path for me to end/begin.
I must remember to start slowly. I wasn't running a full 3 miles instantly when I started training for my first 10K. I need to remember to be gentle and consistent. THAT will get me results and keep me from injuring myself. I think I will start going to yoga at least once or twice a week as well. It's a nice augmented exercise for me and DAMN does it make me strong!
Well, onward!
xo
j
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