My body/mind/inner gremlins want/need something today. They are making plans to attack my fortress of "Good Healthy Eating and Active Lifestyle". I just drank 8 oz. of hot chocolate-a bandster no-no. Shit. I better do something.
Taking a quick inventory of myself I see that the shelves labeled "enough sleep", "creatively fulfilled", and "having fun" are almost bare.
Let's check these gauges over here; Coffee levels are at about halfway to sufficient for normal functioning. Food and satiety levels have risen significantly since I put oatmeal in my tummy. (When I began this post-I was shoveling oatmeal in my face and thinking god, I will NOT be able to make it through the day without some chocolate.) And... Oh-yeah the red light just went out on the Binge Alert monitor.
Phew. The gremlins are retreating into the shadows- still lurking, but at bay for the time being.
Must remember to take my meds on time, take my breaks, stay hydrated, and track my calorie intake. Will report back as newest developments occur.
xo-j
p.s. goddamned weight is STILL stuck in the same place. I expected at least an lb to budge! Grrrrr....
Monday, May 23, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Portions MATTER - WAKE THE EFF UP!!
Since the beginning of the month (May), I have been TRYING to get my shit together. I have been working out 3-5 times a week. I have been counting my calories. I have been trying to get enough sleep. I have been AWARE. And yet, the scale doesn't budge.
SO FRUSTRATED. And sore from working my ass off!
However, I think after getting honest with myself and examining my online food & exercise diary more closely, that I have been LYING... not TRYING. For example: How much fat-free creamer do I put in my black coffee each time I make one? I've been eyeballing the quantity and calling it 2 tablespoons. I just took my measuring spoon to the fridge and poured out EXACTLY 2 tablespoons. And it seems to me that I have been putting perhaps DOUBLE that. If you figure that I have about 4-5 coffees a day, and my creamer is 10 calories per tablespoon, that means that I have been ingesting (unwittingly or not) nearly 100 extra calories a day with JUST my coffee- I often have tea at night as well- "English style". So lets call it 140 extra calories.
Another example- dressing on my salad- I could call one small "ladlefull" of dressing about 2 tablespoons, but I think it's more like 3-4. Again- DOUBLING the calories I am taking in. 2 tablespoons of ranch dressing = 120 calories, so there's an extra 120 calories give or take- that is not being accounted for.
Cheese on my salads? Burger patties? Nachos? Cheese is SUCH a HUGE calorie bomb and I seem to bandy it about willy-nilly like it's shredded lettuce. 1/4 cup full-fat shredded cheddar = 114 calories.
Sour cream? Even LIGHT sour cream contains a hefty amount of calories if you consider I only allow myself 1000-1200 daily. 2 tablespoons of Light Sour Cream = 40 calories. do I stick with 2 tablespoons ALWAYS? No.
Add all this up- which is not uncommon for my typical eating day lately and you get 400-414 EXTRA calories that aren't always accounted for in my diary. This is MORE than I am burning off daily- and hence the scale staying steadfastly in the same place.
AND I MUST CONFESS THAT THESE ITEMS ARE THE ONES I AM LOGGING! WHAT ABOUT THE SMALL HALF A COOKIE HERE AND THE LICK OF ICECREAM THERE? I'm eating OVER 500 calories more a day on average than I should be. I'm TOTALLY lying to myself.
I deserve better.
I guess I just needed to get honest and really LOOK at what I am doing. It's SO easy to gloss over our habits and say "but, I'm eating healthy and I'm tracking my calories!" This is something that I see on Bandster boards daily- and in any interaction I have at the NWWLS clinic- ALL BITES COUNT.
So now that I have uncovered the culprits, what do I plan to do about it? Well it's time to examine what I want- what my priorities are, and if I want to accomplish those things more than I want cheese, sour cream, and cookies. Funny enough- in the scheme of things- cheese, sour cream and cookies will not make me happy. Because I have them in my life now and I'm quite unhappy. Having my healthy body and slim self back will.
SO FRUSTRATED. And sore from working my ass off!
However, I think after getting honest with myself and examining my online food & exercise diary more closely, that I have been LYING... not TRYING. For example: How much fat-free creamer do I put in my black coffee each time I make one? I've been eyeballing the quantity and calling it 2 tablespoons. I just took my measuring spoon to the fridge and poured out EXACTLY 2 tablespoons. And it seems to me that I have been putting perhaps DOUBLE that. If you figure that I have about 4-5 coffees a day, and my creamer is 10 calories per tablespoon, that means that I have been ingesting (unwittingly or not) nearly 100 extra calories a day with JUST my coffee- I often have tea at night as well- "English style". So lets call it 140 extra calories.
Another example- dressing on my salad- I could call one small "ladlefull" of dressing about 2 tablespoons, but I think it's more like 3-4. Again- DOUBLING the calories I am taking in. 2 tablespoons of ranch dressing = 120 calories, so there's an extra 120 calories give or take- that is not being accounted for.
Cheese on my salads? Burger patties? Nachos? Cheese is SUCH a HUGE calorie bomb and I seem to bandy it about willy-nilly like it's shredded lettuce. 1/4 cup full-fat shredded cheddar = 114 calories.
Sour cream? Even LIGHT sour cream contains a hefty amount of calories if you consider I only allow myself 1000-1200 daily. 2 tablespoons of Light Sour Cream = 40 calories. do I stick with 2 tablespoons ALWAYS? No.
Add all this up- which is not uncommon for my typical eating day lately and you get 400-414 EXTRA calories that aren't always accounted for in my diary. This is MORE than I am burning off daily- and hence the scale staying steadfastly in the same place.
AND I MUST CONFESS THAT THESE ITEMS ARE THE ONES I AM LOGGING! WHAT ABOUT THE SMALL HALF A COOKIE HERE AND THE LICK OF ICECREAM THERE? I'm eating OVER 500 calories more a day on average than I should be. I'm TOTALLY lying to myself.
I deserve better.
I guess I just needed to get honest and really LOOK at what I am doing. It's SO easy to gloss over our habits and say "but, I'm eating healthy and I'm tracking my calories!" This is something that I see on Bandster boards daily- and in any interaction I have at the NWWLS clinic- ALL BITES COUNT.
So now that I have uncovered the culprits, what do I plan to do about it? Well it's time to examine what I want- what my priorities are, and if I want to accomplish those things more than I want cheese, sour cream, and cookies. Funny enough- in the scheme of things- cheese, sour cream and cookies will not make me happy. Because I have them in my life now and I'm quite unhappy. Having my healthy body and slim self back will.
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