...Everywhere I go...
The holidays are upon us. There are treats and candy and junkfood surrounding us from all directions. There are evil & deceptively calorically-INSANE holiday coffee drinks being sold on every corner. There's a distinct message of "oh come on- it's the holidays! You deserve a treat!" coming from every television, radio, and store window. And as you walk down the sidewalk towards Starbucks, the holiday lights twinkle and the air is brisk. And you think "It's Christmas Eve! I think I'll have an eggnog latte!" and being at least slightly health-conscious you ask for it cut with nonfat milk. It was delicious. It was satisfying. I went to log it in my calorie program and I wanted to throw it back up. 450 calories for this drink I just ingested. FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY. Jesus-Effing-Christ!
Damage now done, there isn't anything I can do about it. I will be eating some good food tonight some meatloaf and potatoes, maybe a little lasagna, and I will be drinking champagne. I am not going to NOT do this because of this goddamned eggnog latte. However, I CAN choose to exercise when I get home instead of jump straight into cooking. I can afford to take 30 minutes and burn some calories and give myself some meditation time.
It's very frustrating. I really love the "feel" of the holidays... the giving, friendly mood, having something to look forward to and projects (gift making/acquiring) to accomplish. But I am looking forward to the holiday season being done. It's torturous for the food addict who is trying to abstain from overeating and over-indulging and trying to maintain-let alone lose excess body weight.
Looking forward to getting back on track with my goals. I am working on learning to take better care of myself each year. This year I have discovered that if I do not pay attention and I am not mindful of my diet and exercise, I will gain weight. Plain and simple. It is NOT an option to just float through life without structuring my food intake and my exercise at all times. I need to get over this mind-block I have about it being a DRAG... being a pain in the ass... being something that "NORMAL" people don't have to do. Because it's SO not true.
Everyone who has a normal adult metabolism and a relatively sedentary job has to pay attention to these things. EVERYONE. Making myself pay attention and be mindful is a good way of caring for myself each and every day. I need to look at it like that. It's not a "have to", it's a "want to". Because I do want to take good care of me. I do want to live a long life, I do want to live in a body that is strong and lean and sexy. I do want to live in a body free of pain and ailments.
I want to do these things for myself because I deserve it. Hard to remember when you have had 5 hours of sleep, you forgot to go to the grocery store to get fruit, you got stuck in traffic on the way home, and when you finally DO get home, you don't want to do anything but stuff your face and/or go to bed.
It's a journey, and I am an imperfectly beautiful work in progress...
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