Portions MATTER - WAKE THE EFF UP!!

Since the beginning of the month (May), I have been TRYING to get my shit together. I have been working out 3-5 times a week. I have been counting my calories. I have been trying to get enough sleep. I have been AWARE. And yet, the scale doesn't budge.

SO FRUSTRATED. And sore from working my ass off!

However, I think after getting honest with myself and examining my online food & exercise diary more closely, that I have been LYING... not TRYING. For example: How much fat-free creamer do I put in my black coffee each time I make one? I've been eyeballing the quantity and calling it 2 tablespoons. I just took my measuring spoon to the fridge and poured out EXACTLY 2 tablespoons. And it seems to me that I have been putting perhaps DOUBLE that. If you figure that I have about 4-5 coffees a day, and my creamer is 10 calories per tablespoon, that means that I have been ingesting (unwittingly or not) nearly 100 extra calories a day with JUST my coffee- I often have tea at night as well- "English style". So lets call it 140 extra calories.

Another example- dressing on my salad- I could call one small "ladlefull" of dressing about 2 tablespoons, but I think it's more like 3-4. Again- DOUBLING the calories I am taking in. 2 tablespoons of ranch dressing = 120 calories, so there's an extra 120 calories give or take- that is not being accounted for.

Cheese on my salads? Burger patties? Nachos? Cheese is SUCH a HUGE calorie bomb and I seem to bandy it about willy-nilly like it's shredded lettuce. 1/4 cup full-fat shredded cheddar = 114 calories.

Sour cream? Even LIGHT sour cream contains a hefty amount of calories if you consider I only allow myself 1000-1200 daily. 2 tablespoons of Light Sour Cream = 40 calories. do I stick with 2 tablespoons ALWAYS? No.

Add all this up- which is not uncommon for my typical eating day lately and you get 400-414 EXTRA calories that aren't always accounted for in my diary. This is MORE than I am burning off daily- and hence the scale staying steadfastly in the same place.

AND I MUST CONFESS THAT THESE ITEMS ARE THE ONES I AM LOGGING! WHAT ABOUT THE SMALL HALF A COOKIE HERE AND THE LICK OF ICECREAM THERE? I'm eating OVER 500 calories more a day on average than I should be. I'm TOTALLY lying to myself.

I deserve better.

I guess I just needed to get honest and really LOOK at what I am doing. It's SO easy to gloss over our habits and say "but, I'm eating healthy and I'm tracking my calories!" This is something that I see on Bandster boards daily- and in any interaction I have at the NWWLS clinic- ALL BITES COUNT.

So now that I have uncovered the culprits, what do I plan to do about it? Well it's time to examine what I want- what my priorities are, and if I want to accomplish those things more than I want cheese, sour cream, and cookies. Funny enough- in the scheme of things- cheese, sour cream and cookies will not make me happy. Because I have them in my life now and I'm quite unhappy. Having my healthy body and slim self back will.