Stupid Shit I Ate For Breakfast

I just ate the stupidest shit for breakfast. I can't believe I just did it. Cookies. Leftover cookies from christmas. I was sitting here working and I kept dozing off, then my stomach started to growl. I looked up and saw the tin of leftover butter cookies from christmas. I want to kick myself- I want to purge- (never could do that-only when I'm stuck) -but all I can do is learn from it.


I set a goal last week to get back to my bandster rules and eat the way I'm supposed to. Taking smaller bites- carrying my tiny barbie silverware around in my purse, putting my fork down between bites, no drinking while eating, track every morsel of food that goes in my gob, exercise at least 30 minutes a day, drink at least 6-8- 8 oz. glasses of water a day. Protein and produce are the mainstays. No white foods (rice, pasta potatoes, bread) 2- 8 oz servings of dairy daily. Supplement daily.


This week has been extraordinary in that I've been snowed in all week and stuck in the house. And with my knee still recovering- walking outside in the snow would be an unwise decision. I have been on my bike twice this week- which is good- but not daily like I'm supposed to. 


I have eaten things like ice cream one night, nuts (too high in fat), panko breaded fried chicken tenders, homemade deep fried onion rings. AND I've been waiting WAY too long to eat- I eat at 1 or 2 pm- and then from that point on- it's a free-for-all. I feel as though I have a free pass to eat pretty much whatever I want. I have been eating in bed. I need to BAN that behavior. NO food in the bedroom period. I get hungry after 4 hours from dinner and I make poor choices. I should just go to sleep. 


On the up-side. I am proud that I opted out of pizza one night, and had an eggwhite omelette instead, I made 2 caffe oles that were relatively low calorie- maybe 6 oz skim milk in each. 


How is this rant different from the previous bazillion? Well, it isn't except that I REALLY want to take off this 30 lbs I put on in the last year- I have my wedding in August and I want to be proud of how I look- plus I want to be able to wear my jeans again- I am REFUSING to buy any. If I want this badly enough I will make it happen. Time to decide.


Sigh.... such a journey, this is. 
Hmm... Talking like Yoda, I am.


Weirding me out, it is.




Meet this goal, I WILL.


XO
J