Monkey See, Monkey Eat

I was just getting a cup of tea. No cream, no sugar, just black with some splenda. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a big bag of potato chips leftover from the party.

Just up there on top of the fridge.

Looming.

I knew if I tried to ignore them, they would continue to taunt me all day. Food does that to me.

I got a tiny bowl and got out a serving. I hid the bag from sight. Hoping this will take care of the problem. No deprivation, but also no going overboard. Some comfortable middle ground.

Why do I have to eat everything I see? I saw there are a mammoth amount of m&ms in a huge jar in the living room. I better deal with those too- although I don't feel their pull near as much. What is it about the sight of food that makes me think "ooh.... I HAVE TO put that in my mouth!"

I hate that. I hate being an addict. I hate the idea that I will have to fight this fight my whole life. It seems overwhelming. I guess the goal is to replace the food with something that's a healthy high. Running helps. Having a hobby or a goal outside of weight loss helps.

The other way to look at it is the way my therapist does, she decided she is no longer going to diet. And so that's exactly what she did. And she lost 30 pounds over the course of a year. I think that says a lot about what can happen when you take food out of the spotlight- as the star of the show in your life, and put it on the shelf with the other tools humans need to live. Make YOURSELF the star of the show. Make your needs the headliner. Put the old coping mechanisms in the closet and realize that you aren't that person any longer. It's truly inspiring to me to see and hear that it can be done. That it's a place that is achievable. It's comforting.

I have to go journal the chips now.